shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
