I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
