I just pynch a tree in the face
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
