i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
