cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
