You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How does one acquire holy water?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
