I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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