He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
