I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
