I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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