She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My friends, they love my intelligence
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
