I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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