Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
