It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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