if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
