glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
