She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
