Can Purell be used as lube?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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