Having a random hookup so left but love u
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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