You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
