I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
