I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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