May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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