we have officially lost it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
