really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
