I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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