last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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