I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
