There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
