Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
