Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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