using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
