it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
