I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
