This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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