the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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