Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
