soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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