i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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