I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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