Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
