Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
