I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
