Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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