He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
