am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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