Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
