I got chris browned last night
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
