I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
