I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
