i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
